A Father’s Day Message
Proverbs 13:24; Hebrews 12:5-11
June 19, 2016 (KSYC) * Download this article (PDF)
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives”
(Heb 12:5b–6).
Today is Father’s Day in honor of our fathers. Just a few weeks ago, a popular swimmer of Stanford University in Palo Alto was convicted of sexually assaulting a woman, unconscious and helpless woman. He was sentenced to a paltry 6 months in prison, but will probably be paroled in three. He could have received a maximum of 14 years.
In his sentencing, the father of the convicted rapist said of the six-month sentence, “That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life.” This statement is telling. This father has no regard whatsoever for the honor of women, as sexual assault for him is just “20 minutes of action” of a young man’s life. To him, sexually assaulting women is part of a young man’s youthful years, “boys will be boys,” so to speak. Even the judge should be condemned for saying that a longer term would have a “severe impact” on the young man’s life. Would rape not also have a “severe impact” on her life? Privilege and wealth have its benefits.
What a travesty of justice, morality, and the honor of a woman created in God’s own image! But this is not all. What does it say about what kind of a father he is to his son? I don’t know this family, and how this man was raised by his parents, but the immoral attitude of this father is a glimpse into what kind of parenting he did. Records showed that this young man started heavy drinking and using marijuana and LSD in high school.
This is not saying that the children of parents who raise their children well, with discipline, self-control, and teaching them to respect everyone especially those who are in authority over them, will always turn out good members of the family and society. In spite of good parenting, some children nevertheless do not turn out as well as others.
The Earthly Father’s Discipline
The Bible has some practical principles in the raising of children. Though this may be unlawful in some places, Proverbs 13:14 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Proverbs 22:6 also gives this instruction, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are general rules, true prescriptions for raising your children.
Yet, children are responsible for their own actions. The convicted young man cannot say that the problem was his parents; that they did not teach him well. It is often true that some children are brought up well, in a good home, but later reject their parents’ teachings. We are not to blame the Christian parents of a wayward child who reject God in spite of godly upbringing and parenting. Yes, all parents act sinfully and make mistakes, but fathers and mothers: do not give up in despair but seek the cleansing and forgiveness that is yours in Christ. Lift up your children in prayer to your heavenly Father without ceasing.
However their children might turn out, it is the duty of parents, especially fathers, to teach their children to behave well within the family and community. And part of this training is discipline, which all children find hard to accept. In fact, many children today hate discipline, whether by fathers, school or society. They hate being grounded when they break curfew. They hate to be scolded when they tell little “white lies.” But when they become adults, they eventually see the good produced in them because their parents disciplined them. Without discipline, they probably would not have become good citizens. Without the discipline of Christian parents, they may never have come to know Christ at all.
The Bible has this to say about what advise fathers and mothers have to give their children, in Proverbs 23:15-20, “My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad… when your lips speak what is right. Let not your heart envy sinners… Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat.” This counsel is not only for Christian fathers and mothers, but for all who desire to be good parents. It is warning against lying, against the pressure to be like everyone else, against drunkenness and all addictions and out-of-control desires. Fathers who discipline and warn their children do it because they love them.
Did the father of the young man convicted of sexual assault always warn his son against this wild behavior? He is the only one accountable for his actions. Some parents do not like disciplining their children. They think it’s not loving, or it’s too harsh. They think their children would learn by their own mistakes. Often, parents realize this mistake way too late, for their beloved children did not turn out well. So in this way, they reap what they sow.
The Heavenly Father’s Discipline
Hebrews 12:10 says of fathers, “For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.” The pain of discipline is only for a short time, compared to a lifetime of pain and regret. Discipline is for their children’s good.
And so it is with the discipline of the Father in heaven. God sometimes sends us trials and sufferings in order to discipline us whom he loves. Such sufferings demonstrate that God loves us and desires to bring us into a closer and holier relationship with Him. If we believe this with our hearts, we would accept these sufferings and endure them with confidence rather than be bitter towards God and our families and friends. Sometimes our reaction to these things are fear of the future and doubting the reality of our faith.
The idea that God disciplines his own children, or that he may use suffering to do so, is hard to swallow. We like the idea of God’s love more than God’s discipline. But God both loves and disciplines his children. Hebrews 12:7-8 reminds us that God’s discipline proves that he loves us and we truly are his children, “God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.” If earthly fathers discipline their children because they love them, it is so much more true that the heavenly Father disciplines his children because of his total love for his own children.
Good fathers exercise discipline over their children to teach, rebuke, correct and persuade them. But sometimes, all of these are not enough, and some children still rebel against their parents and even against God. But our heavenly Father promises in Hebrews 12:11 that his discipline has eternal results, and “later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
The parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) is one of the most well-known parables of Jesus, especially during Father’s Day celebrations when sermons typically focus on the good and bad parenting skills of the father. But what is often lost in today’s moralisms is the father’s willingness to be disgraced and humiliated in many ways for the sake of his wicked sons. All that transpired between the father and his two sons are public knowledge.
For a son to ask for the portion of his inheritance is tantamount to wishing he was dead. When the lost son returns, the father runs even while the son was afar off, lifting his robe as he runs. A Jewish father walks with dignity and never runs, especially to meet a son who has disgraced his father. And when the father throws a celebration for the lost younger son, his older son also humiliated him by rejecting his father’s invitation to join the party.
Are you a child of God who is lost? The heavenly Father is seeking you, whoever, wherever and however you are. Come to him by believing and trusting in his Beloved Son Jesus Christ, who absorbed his Father’s punishment against his wayward children. Do you hate your father’s godly discipline? Accept it, for it is for your own good.
